Last evening the Institute hosted its first Annual Gala. It was a resounding success, attended by no one.
A Glittering Affair
The room (Nigel's kitchen) was dressed to the nines. There were candles, a playlist described in the invitation as "curated," and a single canapé that Nigel made and then ate while deciding whether it was ready to be served. It was not.
Guests arrived at the appointed hour, in the sense that the appointed hour arrived and the guests did not. The Director-General gave a speech to a fully set table, thanked the empty chairs for their patronage, and described the turnout as "intimate."
Highlights of the Evening
- An auction was held. Nigel bid against himself for a print, won, and has not yet paid.
- The dress code was "devastating elegance." It was observed by one attendee, who was Nigel.
- A toast was raised to "absent friends," a category that, on this occasion, was comprehensive.
In Conclusion
We are already planning next year's gala, which we expect to be even more exclusive. Tickets are not available. They never were. That, we have come to understand, is the secret of a truly desirable event.
A gallery of photographs from the evening will not be released, as no one was there to be photographed and Nigel does not photograph well under candlelight.
The Events Office (Nigel)