The Institute is, regrettably, in crisis. The crisis concerns beige.
How It Began
During a routine review of recent submissions, an unnamed committee member (Nigel) described a soft, sand-coloured composition as "brave." A second committee member (also Nigel, in a different scarf) countered that beige is "the colour of giving up."
What followed cannot be printed in full. There was raised voice. There was a slammed catalogue. There was, at one point, a dramatic exit through a door that turned out to be a cupboard, from which the committee member did not emerge for some time, on principle.
The Two Camps
The Institute is now divided:
- The Beige Realists, who hold that beige is the honest colour of modern life, of waiting rooms and good intentions.
- The Anti-Beige Tendency, who maintain that any colour requiring three meetings to defend was never worth defending.
Both camps consist entirely of Nigel.
The Resolution
After lengthy deliberation, a compromise was reached: beige will be permitted in the gallery, but only if accompanied by an explanation that makes everyone slightly uncomfortable. This is, in fact, our policy on all colours.
The friendship lost in the dispute has not been recovered. Nigel and Nigel are no longer speaking, though they continue to share a kettle.
The Committee, issuing this through gritted teeth